Our fellowship is a Twelve Step program based on the principles of Alcoholics
Anonymous. Our purpose is to recover from sexual addiction and to help others
recover. For us, “to recover” means ending our compulsive and destructive sexual
behavior, healing the emotional wounds that fostered the behavior and healing the
damage caused to us and others by our behavior. In SRA we learn to integrate
sexuality into our lives in a healthy way.
Our addiction was like a secret room, a very lonely place where we isolated
ourselves. This place felt like a necessary part of ourselves, but the loneliness and
fear could never be shared. The further we went into our room, the more it became
like a cell.
As sex addicts, most of us are deeply ashamed of our compulsive behavior and
this creates even thicker walls between us and others. Our addiction caused us to
withdraw, so we lost meaningful contact with people. We struggled to keep our
addiction a secret, especially from those we loved and who loved us. But this
secret world was killing us.
How can our program help if an addict’s most vigorous efforts have failed? Our
program offers what is not in any addict’s power to provide for themselves:
communion with others, mutual understanding, help from other addicts,
compassion and fellowship. Many members discover that the fellowship and love
found in meetings is a power that affects their lives more compellingly than their
individual strivings.
When newcomers attend their first meetings, they are often astounded to hear
others sharing the details of their addiction openly, thoroughly, and honestly.
Newcomers realize that they have found a place where they can open that room
inside themselves, for the first time sharing honestly with other people. What they
share about themselves is treated with respect and compassion. They are entirely
welcomed by a fellowship of men and women. The healthy desire for connection
with others, blocked for so long by the secret, shameful world, finally finds a place
of fulfillment.
In SRA we learn about the Twelve Steps, which are suggested as an important part
of our program of recovery. They are simple, thoughtful tools that, when applied
with sincerity, demand a thorough appraisal of our addiction, our relationship with
ourselves and others, and our spiritual nature. The Steps provide a framework for a
housecleaning of the self which leads to an emotional and spiritual renewal.